Wednesday, January 30, 2008

it never sleeps

The big political buzz right now is the endorsement given to Barack Obama by Ted Kennedy and Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg. Phrases like "the mantle of JFK" and "passing the torch" have been tossed around like Frisbees at Woodstock. If I were Obama, I wouldn't be so happy. Like the relationship with Oprah, this is a double-edged sword. You just know the republicans are rubbing their hands in anticipation of tying Obama to the scary liberal Chappaquiddick U-boat commander. But there's a much bigger problem. There's an actual member of the Kennedy family that I'm pretty sure was angling for the JFK mantle himself, and he's not somebody you want to piss off...

la cage o' folly

Farewell, Judy Riuliani.

Who could have ever guessed that the Republican party wouldn't fall all over themselves in support of a runty, serial-philandering, disaster-profiteering, transvestite ferret of a man with delusions of grandeur and a lisp? Seems like a match made in heaven to me.

Kansas humor

Friday, January 25, 2008

enjoy the show

According to Keith Olbermann, our feckless president, with his Mr. Peabody and Classics Illustrated-based understanding of history, feels that he is destined to leave office widely disliked but will be validated and glorified by later generations in exactly the same way that his hero, Abraham Lincoln, was.

Mr. Bush, you wish to finish your term like Lincoln?

I'm good with that.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Democrats inaction

What a day.

First, the Democrats help Bush do another one of his "let's open the liquor cabinets to keep the rubes happy while we ransack the jewelry box and wall safe" three-hundred-dollar giveaways on the national credit card, making our liberal media act like we all just hit the jackpot on the Oprah show even as Republican donors pack their offshore accounts with ill-gotten loot that would make Gordon Gecko blanch with a pang of guilt.

Then, while the citizenry is safely distracted by the jingly keys from real issues like a collapsing economy and growing signs of fascism in our nation, twelve so-called Democrats voted with the Republicans to pass the pro-immunity telecom eavesdropping laws, agreeing to virtually eradicate all rights of privacy and judicial relief from government and corporate lawbreaking. Most insulting of all, Democratic Senators and presidential candidates Clinton and Obama didn't even bother to make the effort to show up and fight for our rights while our own little banana republic government is selling us out to the highest bidders. Leadership like that will take us right into servitude to our aristocracy.

For much of the last several years I have been sympathetic because I thought that the Democrats were being forcibly held down against their will and brutally and repeatedly sodomized by the Republicans.

Now I think they let them do it because they really like it.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008


On Jon Stewart tonight, he showed some clips from Fox news on the economy and stock market fall. Lots of “guest speakers” who blamed fear that there will be a Democratic President. Incredible how they plant seeds of doubt, and stupid viewers will internalize that as the truth. Never mind the meltdown in the subprime market, built up debt, high gas prices, etc etc.

Fox blames fears of a Dem pres. Morons.

Monday, January 21, 2008


Sunday, January 20, 2008

bubbly all around

Thursday, January 17, 2008

look away

Monday, January 14, 2008


Today's "Big Number" on Chris Matthews' Hardball was "3."

You see, that's the number of times people in that nasty, castrating bitch Hillary Clinton's campaign have mentioned Barack Obama's youthful cocaine use "for political gain," according to the fair-minded soothsayer with the enormous downy yellow head.

Hey, Chris, could you tell me another number that I'll bet is even bigger? How many times have you mentioned Bill Clinton's genitals "for political gain?"

It seems to me with the amount of time you've spent talking about it, you've had Bill Clinton's cock in your mouth way more than Monica Lewinsky ever did.

Friday, January 11, 2008

bad timing

I was watching one of the cable science channels tonight and when the program went to commercial break, it prefaced it with one of those "did you know?" kind of science soundbites. This one said something like "lightning bolts are 6 times hotter than the surface of the Sun, or about 54,000 degrees Fahrenheit!"

Immediately afterwards, a new commercial from Acura came on, and the next words that came from the television speaker were along the lines of "the temperature on the surface of the Sun is 11,000 degrees Fahrenheit!"

Science is so much fun.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

told you so

I've been a fan of Jimmy Carter since he took office, I've long felt he was one of the most intelligent and wise of our presidents, and I've been saying for years that it was his relentless flagellation by the wrong-about-everything-right-wing-nutjobs that was the first lynching of a president by a deceitful opposition party and an obeisant press, not Bill Clinton's. Carter was the dress rehearsal, Clinton was the performance. Even with his overt religiosity, I felt comfortable with Carter in office trying to clean up the mess of the Nixon/Ford years and I argued incessantly in support of most of his policies, particularly his crusade to try to get the United States to prepare for a rapidly approaching future of energy and environmental crises. I've watched him get crucified by the corporatists in speechless wonderment, while a script-reciting oaf like Ronald Reagan who couldn't tie his own shoelaces most of the time he was in office gets elevated to sainthood.

Well, Jimmy is finally speaking out and telling it like it is. I couldn't say it better, so read for yourself:

headline of the day

From Google News:

"Bush Hopeful Of A Middle East Peace Deal Before He Steps Down"

Yeah, and I'm hopeful of identical-twin, free-spirited, gorgeous 22 year-old blondes with overactive libidos, a yen for older men, and a passion for prog-rock music, astronomy, and cats. The kicker? I'm a lot more likely to have my hopes fulfilled before Bush "steps down" than he is.

Oh well, you know the old saying, "if wishes were horses, George W. Bush would be scared to death of them."

kiss of death?

News today is that John Kerry has endorsed Barack Obama's candidacy for president. What a prince of a fellow, essentially declaring in the most public possible manner that his running mate of four years ago, who he must have thought at the time was good enough to be the leader of the country if President Kerry was disabled or dead, is evidently not good enough for him today. If I were Hillary Clinton's campaign adviser, I would be turning cartwheels.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Bring in the heavy equipment

Wow. PM Olmert (Israel) and Bush are having a press conference together. Olmert went on for about 5 minutes on how wonderful Bush is. Bush was sporting his most smarmy grin while looking as guilty as a devious 13 year-old.

I don't know if it should be classified as a blow-job or at an ass-licking but either way, it's a shame that Israel doesn't have an oil industry 'cause they're going to need equipment to separate the two.

Did I say that?

well played

Congratulations, Hillary Clinton. Nicely done. Anybody who can beat those odds despite blatant, relentless media opposition and undermining is strong enough to start the massive cleanup and restoration this country so desperately needs.

Maybe there is a little bit of hope for us.


Monday, January 07, 2008


Here's an opportunity to help a good person. Possummomma, hereinafter abbreviated as Pmom, the primary writer on the blog "Atheist in a mini van" found at, has a debilitating case of Lupus, and has recently been suffering from extreme ultraviolet sensitivity which is forcing her to avoid sunlight as entirely as possible, no easy task.

If you've ever read Pmom, you will know that she is a brilliant thinker and engaging writer who is raising children that show every sign of even being smarter than their mother! She has a growing community of readers who have followed her adventures since she "came out" as an atheist, which is a lot more challenging than you might think in this country full of christian intolerance.

One of her regular readers and commenters, who writes the blog "Berlezebub's Inferno," at, has found some plastic UV-opaque window film that can be applied to Pmom's windows at home in order to completely screen the UV that makes it through her window glass, which will give her the freedom to at least be up and active in the daylight hours without suffering painful burns to her skin. Donations to the UV film fund can be made at and you will be helping a wonderful family fight mounting health problems and expenses with a very simple and not prohibitively costly addition to their home.

Pmom, you are loved by more people than you even realize.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

nation of fools

Some days I'm utterly ashamed of my fellow countrymen. Today is one of them. If ignorance is bliss, these people are in the throes of unparalleled ecstasy:

Of course, the last one interviewed thinks he has what it takes to be president. So do a lot of the members of his party. Is it any wonder so many Americans traveling overseas tell people they are Canadian?

Friday, January 04, 2008

still later

I think the most interesting possible conclusion to be drawn from tonight's Iowa results, a race where, in a very white, historically conservative, and highly religious state, a young black man took the most significant percentage of the total participants, and in which the strongest support from the opponent camp went to a middle-aged, evangelical and unabashedly theocratic white man, demonstrates the distant rumblings of massive impending generational change.

Young people came out and supported Barack Obama in such quantity that they overwhelmed the candidate most likely to win judged by simple demographics.

We are seeing the shaking of the seats of power and wealth of those who have held them since the late Seventies by the up and coming new generation, who is stating in no uncertain terms that they will not long permit their reality to be formed by the passions and prejudices of the old. This will be messy. Those powerful but ageing people will not give up their privilege quietly.

Power to the people.

Viva la revolucion.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

on the other hand

I imagine the republicans are tickled that Balack Hussein Osama got the most Democratic support tonight. The depths of filth they will stir up in this election cycle will be historic, and we are really going to plumb the foulest depths of the conservative national psyche if he is ultimately the Democratic candidate. I'm not especially partial to any of the Democratic campaigners over any others, but I do have a few misgivings about Obama. He has been hitting a lot of right-wing talking points the last several weeks, and it seems that the biggest thing that the Iowans were talking about tonight was his call for "change."

That sounds innocuous enough, and there's enough bad things about our governance that need to be changed. The problem is that Senator Obama talks in generalities and half-baked ideas that can't be made to work, like bringing the insurance companies into discussions about effectively cutting their own profits and political power by bringing health care to a larger percentage of Americans. Change can be a great thing, if done right and with tremendous care.

Remember, though, that George W. Bush promised "change."

And he delivered it in spades.

eenie meenie chili beanie


Fred Flintst... - er, Thompson, just landed himself a golden ticket to the ball tonight. The republican party is going to "persuade" Mitt Romney to pick Fred as his running mate. That will give most of Thompson's followers to Romney, which should just about balance the Huckabee Revival Meeting's sudden acquisition of voting mass. The republican power brokers (and Romney) get Fred's voters, Romney gets to be the official candidate and Fred gets a chance to be Vice President, a job for which he is unusually suited seeing as how he doesn't like to work, just to look avuncular, and which also would give him a shot at sitting in the big chair as soon as one of the rifle-toting fundie Huckabee nutjobs takes out president not-a-real-christian Mittster at 500 yards.

Things are just starting to get interesting.

order a pizza, make the popcorn!

It's going to be incredibly entertaining to watch the republican wolf gnawing off its own Huckabee paw over the next few weeks in a demonstration of their true commitment to democracy.

Mike, you probably don't want to go for coffee with any big elephant party honchos and ride shotgun...

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

for Tweety

I channel-surfed into the increasingly divorced-from-reality "Hardball" for a moment today and noticed that Tweety Matthews was rolling out his latest assault on Mt. Hillary.

It seems that the Big Yellow Head has concocted his latest "I-am-too-a-big-boy-journalist" question designed to stop her supporters in their tracks with a contrived "have you stopped beating your wife" kind of concern trollishness and permits him to launch another one of his oxygen-deprived grunts of "HA!"

The question he has discovered that is so difficult to answer?

"As president, how would she be different from Bill Clinton?"

In Tweety's enormous downy head, Bill Clinton's tenure as president was horrible. Evidently, Matthews thinks that eight years of growing prosperity, peace, social progress and technological development was the wrong thing for the United States. Anybody sane who hears that question is struck for a moment by a sense of "what the fuck is that supposed to mean?" and momentarily frozen for a moment because of the sweeping stupidity of the query, not because the Clinton presidency was a catastrophe. Never mind that wealth and power is being ever more concentrated in the hands of a dynastic few. Never mind that eight years of Bush rule has transformed this country into a torturing banana republic where the rich and powerful are free to break the law with no penalty. Never mind that the Bush administraton has turned us into a pathetic parody of empire that invades third-world countries to "help" them. Never mind that our government is illegally spying on us citizens with the assistance of those who we pay to maintain our privacy. Never mind that Osama Bin Laden is still running free and sending us new mix tapes with more regularity than Bush press conferences. Never mind that our country is under the thumbs of Constitution-hating theocrats. Never mind that the empty suits and emptier heads running for president on the republican ticket would accelerate our downward spiral.

Tweety wants to know how she would be different than Bill.

Well, Tweety, you seem to have forgotten the one reason you obsessed over Bill Clinton in the first place and the biggest way in which Hillary will differ from her husband as President of the United States. I'm upset that you would overlook it as it gave meaning to your tawdry little life as well as completely unmerited job security, not to mention countless nights of spittle-flecked masturbatory fantasy.

She won't be getting any hummers in the Oval Office.

You're welcome.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

new year, same old shit

While I maintain hope that our nation begins to come to its collective senses this year as the Bush administration all-too-slowly winds down, I can't say that I have much confidence we will.

It doesn't strike me as a sign of national sanity that so many of my fellow countrymen feel that the way to observe the start of another trip around the Sun is by setting off explosives and randomly discharging firearms.

Happy New Year, America.

Please grow the fuck up.