Friday, June 22, 2007

Friday Cat Blogging

Wake up, Beebee, it's time for your sleeping pill....

Friday, June 15, 2007

what are you waiting for?

I stumbled across an old article on ABC News' blog "The Blotter," a post from 9/6/06 discussing the government's use of torture during interrogations. One of the commenters posted something that I have seen in similar form many times over the last few years. The full comment said:

"I am a conservative. I am sick and tired of you liberal, pansy, white flag idiots who would surrender if given the chance. Let's just have another civil war and be done with it. We know who would win, because we have all the guns."

I am sick and tired of these moronic cowards posing as macho men. There isn't one of these pasty, jowly, somebody-else-needs-to-go-die-for-my-bloated-carcass assholes that has the gumption to actually take up arms and go to war. They sit in their mother's basements and type martial epics with Cheeto-stained fingers, they ooze pre-seminal fluid from every pore in their bodies when discussing the latest suited asshole that spouts their vile and anti-American rhetoric, and I'm starting to agree with them.

Let's have that civil war, you chickenshits. You don't have a chance. You might have the guns, but we have all the brains.

Bring it on.

Friday text-only cat-blogging

The Freeloader moved in some time in early February. Last night, he captured a juvenile bird, his second time in the last couple of weeks, and I caught him munching birdie bits on the back patio. He later came in and ralphed up pinfeathers on the floor.

This has to be a record. He has never done anything in the house before, and went for four months until finally spitting up on the carpet.

Friday, June 08, 2007

I'd like to buy a vowel, please

So, MSNBC invites Tommy Chong on to discuss the Paris Hilton feeding frenzy with vacuous news reader Contessa Brewer. Brewer offers no explanation as to what Mr. Chong has to do with this story other than the fact that he is also a celebrity who has been in prison. Tommy decides to not play along with the script that Contessa apparently wants to execute and instead cogently makes the point that this entire scrum is absurd and is a distraction from the foundering presidency, the catastrophe in Iraq, and all of the other hideous news that is being obscured by the non-stop celebrity coverage of major media, which is largely owned and controlled by Republicans who have a lot to gain by distracting the American public.

Contessa's response? She asked Mr. Chong a question:
"Have you smoked anything today?"

Contessa, I have a question just for you, you worthless piece of conservative shit.

Shouldn't the "o" in your name be a "u?"

Wednesday, June 06, 2007


As we observe the 63rd anniversary of the invasion at Normandie, we find that George W. Bush's misbegotten and illegitimate presidency has now led to 3,503 American military personnel being killed in Iraq.

Support the troops. Impeach the bastard.

clenched aspen

In a wondrous and rare display of the rule of law and just desserts, I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby was sentenced to 30 months in Federal prison and a fine of $250,000 for his perjury and obstruction of justice in the Valerie Plame Wilson matter. Terrified Republicans are already bleating about the horrid inhumanity of seeing this convicted felon actually have to serve time.

If there is any real justice in the world, Scooter will soon be learning a whole new definition of "taking one for the team."

Saturday, June 02, 2007

be amused - be very amused

I awakened to breathlessly non-stop "BREAKING NEWS" today of a terrorist plot to "blow up" JFK airport!

Don't you think that if there were so many "terrists" here slavering at the thought of killing throngs of Americans that they could catch somebody that didn't consist of a group of slackers with a plot that would make audiences giggle uncontrollably if it were the basis for a movie?

And, wouldn't it be nice to have a press that recognized the difference between an idiot fantasy like this and a real plan with real danger?

Now we are being told that one of the most alarming bits of information that have been discovered is that the "leader" of the JFK plot bragged about knowing the head of an Islamist group in Trinidad.

One would hope that the Department of Homeland Security would be able to realize that "put de lime in de coconut and shake it all up" is not actually coded instructions for bomb-building...

So the plan was to blow up a several-mile-long pipeline that is used to transport jet fuel to JFK International Airport, with the intent for the resulting fire to be catastrophic and explosive enough to kill thousands of people and destroy huge amounts of property, including much of the airport. These people were idiots. I used to PLAY with JP-4 military jet fuel when I was a child. The stuff is very hard to burn and it has to be atomized by the engine injectors before it becomes truly combustible. That's WHY they can deliver it to JFK by way of an above-the-ground pipeline. These "determined" terrorists seem to be about as intellectually gifted as our president.

That, by the way, is not a compliment.

"FOX & Friends" discussed this story with the headline "Killers Caught!" crawling across the bottom of the screen. But then, Republicans have always been the kings of premature ejaculations. I'm guessing that "Around the World in Eighty Seconds" is a bit of a Freudian slip.

I'm not the only one that says this entire plan was absurd:

This JFK situation has gone from an all-day news feeding frenzy to virtually nonexistent in twenty-four hours. There are a lot of different conclusions that could be jumped to, but the only one I feel safe in making is that this entire thing stinks beyond belief.

Friday, June 01, 2007


What is wrong with this picture?

Now, on prime time television, for those who don't have the energy to actually leave the house and go to the bingo parlor to sit and play bingo themselves, viewers can sit at home, and from the comfort of their very own lazy boy recliner, and watch "National Bingo Night" on ABC TV.

Boy, if I were an advertiser, I'd be clawing my way to get air time on that broadcast...

another lying sack bites the dust

Dan Bartlett, longtime Bush minion, is resigning effective July the 4th.

The ship of state is foundering and, as always, the rats are the first off.

revenge of the nerd

On Thursday's "Hardball," Air America president Mark Green was noting that George W.(orst president ever) Bush didn't care about the Republican "base" getting upset in the matter of "immigration reform" because he wasn't seeking to be re-elected. Mr. Green carefully explained that because of that convergence of events, that "Rush Limbaugh is irrelevant" in the sense that even though he has a huge radio audience, it only represents the hardcore base constituency of the Republican party and was not a factor in this decision.

Never one to run away from a fight, at least not a fight that involved actual, you know, fighting and blood and pain and stuff, of-military-age-but-civilian "Republican strategist" Maurice "Ed" Rogers, the one who not long ago breathlessly broke the important news that Barack Obama's middle name is Hussein,
leapt bravely into the fray with the non sequitur "if Rush Limbaugh is irrelevant, what does that make Air America?"

Maurice, er, uh, Ed, that was way too verbose.

All you really needed to say was "I know you are, but what am I?"

speaking of dumbasses

Peggy Noonan:

"The president has taken to suggesting that opponents of his immigration bill are unpatriotic--they 'don't want to do what's right for America.' ...Why would they speak so insultingly, with such hostility, of opponents who are concerned citizens? And often, though not exclusively, concerned conservatives?."

Gosh, Peggy, you don't like being treated the way that liberals have been? Perhaps now you understand that George is not on anybody's team but George's. Really hurts to find out you've been used, doesn't it?

At least, I hope it does.

Your money's on the nightstand, bitch. Close the door behind you.

do a good thing

June is "Adopt-a-Cat Month" for the American Humane Association. If you can't handle another mouth to feed, even if it's sweet and soft and full of purrs and kneads and the most sincere and unselfish love on the planet, then at least drop some money in the kitty!