Friday, February 29, 2008



Thursday, February 28, 2008

a real loss

Farewell to legendary drummer Buddy Miles. I'm not much of a jazz enthusiast, but I recognize incredible talent, skill, and innovation when I hear it. Thanks, Buddy. You made an enormous contribution to the history of music and I'm sure you will be remembered for a very long time.

Rest with the honor you have earned.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

adios, amigo

It is said that one should not speak ill of the dead. I disagree. If they've earned it, let 'em have it.

William F. Buckley died last night. Good riddance to another odious piece of shit.

Gore Vidal may be a "queer," but you were a real cocksucker.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Parallel Dynasties?

From David Letterman:

“Fidel Castro has resigned from the Presidency of Cuba. The apparent successor will be his brother Raul or his idiot son Fidel W. Castro.”

Friday, February 22, 2008


Friday cat-blogging

It was inevitable:

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

talk about "Fully Loaded"

I learned from Keith Olbermann that OK! magazine paid six million dollars for the rights to publish the first photographs of J.Lo's twins.

That's nice, but I'll be buying the new issue of New York magazine. Honestly, when it comes to cute young twins I'm a lot more interested in seeing Lindsay Lohan's...

Tuesday, February 19, 2008


How in the world can it be called "Alternative Rock" when it's all that you hear?

Did I say that?

Fuck Chris Matthews.

Name one fucking positive thing your buddy GWB has done.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Check your mirror..

One house in particular...a house of cards

Friday, February 15, 2008

Friday Cat Blogging

A Toyger of my own...

a new toy!

Wow, I have my very own troll! I feel all tingly inside! Hey troll, welcome aboard! Do you want to know a Milo Johnson Fun Fact?

You and I are very much alike.

You see, we are both being equally fucked over by George W. Bush. He's destroying the environment in which we both have to live. He's ruined the economy upon which we both depend. He's invading the privacy and freedom to exist unmolested that both of us understand to be our Constitutional right. He's savaged the good will that the previous administrations of our country have worked so hard to establish. He's strangled the credibility our land had among the nations of the world. He is enriching his cronies at the expense of both of us. He has politicized the judicial system of our republic and made a joke of the rule of law. He has made us more vulnerable to people who want to hurt us. He has made a laughingstock of the presidency of the United States of America.

In all of these ways and more, he has shamed our country and himself.

The only difference between us is that not only are you enjoying sucking his fascist cock, you are trying to persuade the rest of us that it tastes great.

Suck that cock, my friend, suck that cock.


Suck this cock too, my friend, suck this cock too. Come on back any time you want me to prove you wrong again, okay? I swear, fucking candy from a baby...

Public Service Announcement

In keeping with my responsibilities as a liberal blogger with enormous influence on the net, I wanted to clarify something for my many readers. I've noticed that a lot of the people on the right, with their usual foggy thinking, often misuse a clinical term and I feel it's only fair to provide the textbook definition. Please keep in mind that any and all mentions of the term on this blog will be construed to conform with the following definition.

Bush Derangement Syndrome - (also B.D.S, BDS)

Bush Derangement Syndrome is the mistaken notion that the felonious cretin who illegitimately occupies the White House is anything more than precisely what he appears to be, a rude, petty, arrogant, unprincipled, sadistic, self-important Connecticut cowboy and loutish son of privilege who is an alcoholic cokehead and self-loathing closeted homosexual frat boy with an intellectual capacity that ranks somewhere between those of Britney Spears and Paris Hilton, and who is compensating for his personal cowardice and his massive Oedipal problem by assassinating our country as a Freudian surrogate for his father.

Thanks for tuning in, and now back to our regular programming, already in progress...

Thursday, February 14, 2008


It was announced today that the Bush White House has approved a plan to use three naval surface-to-air missiles to shoot down an ailing military satellite. The satellite, variously described as being "twenty-five hundred pounds," "five thousand pounds," and "the size of a school bus" (pick the one you like, I guess) was launched two years ago but was not able to be positioned in a stable orbit and is going to re-enter the atmosphere and be destroyed naturally anyway.

Government spokesmen have explained that the satellite needs to be destroyed because it has a couple of small tanks of hydrazine, a volatile hypergolic rocket fuel, which could adversely affect people "within a football-field sized area" surrounding the canisters, if they were to land in a populated area.

Bullshit. That is a lie.

Point 1: The surface of the Earth is almost three-quarters water. Only about five percent of the land area of the Earth is populated. That means that there is less than a one-fifth of one percent chance of the satellite debris landing in a populated area. Even if it did, all this for an area the size of a football field? We have far larger toxic issues in this country on a daily basis. Why the exception for this tiny concern?

Point 2: Left to its own, the satellite would re-enter Earth's atmosphere at well over fifteen thousand miles per hour. It is not designed to re-enter, it is not aerodynamic nor does it have any heat shielding. The satellite would burn up and break into thousands of pieces upon re-entry like the several other old satellites that fall back to Earth every year with no incident. The tiny handful of times that man-made space debris has been found on Earth are so exceptional that stories get written about them in astronomy magazines. The likelihood that any of this one would be found or even make it to Earth is exceptionally slim. The military space command knows this, as does NASA. Why is the government being untruthful about this?

Point 3: What goes up comes down. By launching three missiles WITH EXPLOSIVE WARHEADS into space, even if they succeed there are now whatever remains of four large objects that will be randomly returning to Earth, with three of these objects bearing large amounts of powerful explosives. That is certainly not an improvement, so why is the government omitting this fact?

Point 4: What if they actually do hit the satellite and destroy it? The plan is to blow it up so that only small pieces fall into the atmosphere with the likelihood that they will burn up before they even got a hundred miles above the surface. However, if they blow it up, pieces go flying off in all directions and they will be showering low-Earth orbit, the exact zone in which the International Space Station, the Space Transportation System or "Space Shuttle" and future orbital spacecraft will be working, with thousands of pieces of debris. According to NASA, the biggest single danger the shuttle faces in orbit is non-trackable pinhead-sized flecks of paint and metal filings and other assorted debris from previous launches that can collide with the shuttle at over twenty thousand miles per hour. A grain of sand moving twenty thousand miles per hour has the same kind of kinetic energy as a bowling ball going two hundred miles per hour. The effects of such an impact on a craft as fragile as the shuttle would be instantly catastrophic. There are at the present time around twenty thousand pieces of TRACKABLE man-made items in space ranging from the Hubble Space Telescope to lost gloves, space wrenches, nuts and bolts, and all of the other detritus that is the mark of human habitation through history. Blowing up a satellite and possibly exploding as many as three missiles would exponentially multiply the number of objects in orbit and could make future space exploration far more hazardous than it is now. Once again, the space agencies know this and have certainly explained it to the military. Why is the government going ahead with such a dangerous plan?

This is not being done to protect life on the Earth's surface. It is being done to open the door to pursue needless, certain-to-fail missile "defense" systems that would funnel even larger amounts of tax revenues to defense corporations who pay vast sums of money in order to influence government to create business opportunities for them that serve the country badly.

George W. Bush is a lying piece of shit, and I hope I live to see him tried, convicted, and imprisoned, if not hanged, for treasonously defrauding and endangering the American people.

UPDATE: Wow! Welcome to Southern Beale's readers, and thanks for the link!

hell of a resume

Reading today's Daily Howler ( I was reminded of a classic quote from my favorite closet queen, little Sucker Carlton, when he said in regard to Hillary Clinton, "I have often said, when she comes on television, I involuntarily cross my legs."

I figured it was just another of little Sucker's legendary bon mots, and then I realized that for our little bow-tied Lord Fauntleroy to be worried about Hillary removing his junk that must mean that she is certified to practice microsurgery.

What a woman. Maybe she can do Dick Cheney's heart transplant next!

point of order

Note to our government and the media:

When tens of thousands of people spontaneously and peacefully demonstrate their support for a dead man as is happening in Beirut at this exact moment, you might want to find a better word than "terrorist" to describe the dead man. "Terror" seems to be the exact opposite of what he has inspired, and just because he may have goals that don't align with the goals of the highly placed few in this country who drive the discourse does not give the right to denigrate him without a thought for the real dynamics of what is occurring. This knee-jerk use of terms like "terrorist" has already bitten us on the ass for several years, and not even we have enough of a military to kill every person who dislikes George Bush.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

contrast & compare


The United States Senate, in a quick vote that had all of the Republicans and almost half of the Democrats agreeing with each other, passed a law saying that the government could violate the Constitutional rights of American citizens at will and wiretap their telephone communications and read their emails. The telecom companies that assisted the government in selling out the citizenry will be protected against any efforts to hold them accountable for their lawbreaking, and will make uncounted millions of dollars from taxes paid by the citizens who are being spied upon illegally by those very companies. All of this was pushed through with little or no public discussion or participation.

The United States Senate spent five hours, with non-stop coverage by our "free press," indignantly grilling a handful of people over whether or not they used performance enhancing compounds to hit baseballs farther.

Please tell me I'm not the only one that thinks we are witnessing the end of the United States of America and the birth of a new dictatorship.

Monday, February 11, 2008

the shoe's up the other ass now

It looks like the Washington Republican primary results are going to get very interesting. The head of the Washington GOP stopped the vote count when only 87% of the votes had been tallied and called the final for McCain, and the Huckabee campaign is very upset and is promising legal action. They insist that all of the votes should be counted and that there is no good reason to declare the results before that has been done.

It's funny how important actually counting votes has become to Huckabee's campaign with him being a member of the party that was so insistent that Bush be declared victorious in Florida, despite there being enough uncounted votes remaining to have given Al Gore the presidency.

Fortunately, Mike, the Republicans are the party of honor. Just because you won the other two primaries the same day and even though this one was an extremely close race, if they say you lost, it must be true. You're in the good and honest hands of your fellow principled conservatives, so just trust them.

After all, what could go wrong?

Saturday, February 09, 2008

do I know my peeps?

I predicted, in a comment on the previous post, that Huckabee would beat McCain in the Kansas caucuses held today by a 65% to 35% vote.

Actual caucus results:
Huckabee 60%
McCain 24%
Ron Paul 11%

See, while a lot of people know Kansans as "flatlanders," they erroneously attribute the nickname to the fact that they live on the vast, level plains of this state. It's actually because they believe that the Earth is flat.

Huckabee is one of them.

Friday, February 08, 2008

update from Oz

So, John McCain ended up drawing about 350 people to his appearance in Wichita today. This is in a city of almost 500,000 people. Mike Huckabee did much better, gathering about 500 to his campaign stop. Of course, Huckabee's shindig had live entertainment. It was a band I used to play with. Mike even played bass on a couple of songs with them. He really sucks as a bass player.

I bet he fit right in...

first-round KO

It's about fucking time. It should have been Chris Matthews, who got off with a sideways and half-assed apology a couple of weeks ago for saying that Hillary only got elected Senator because people felt sorry for her over Bill's extramarital activities, but David Shuster has just been suspended by MSNBC for his on-air "pimping her out" crack yesterday about the classy and lovely Chelsea Clinton.

The media got used to lambasting Clintons who were not able to fight back because of their public service positions, but now that Bill is a private citizen again and his arms aren't tied behind his back, he has taken the fight to the hideously juvenile and opinionated cadre of putative journalists with which our country is currently infected.

He first smacked the shit out of FOX "news" and has now put the hammer down on MSNBC, both of whom deserve every single ounce of contempt and rancor that can be rained down upon them for polluting the discourse that determines our nation's future. Olbermann is fine, but he does not undo the damage that Matthews, Carlson and Scarborough do.

How do you like Bill Clinton now, Dave Shuster? He just forced you to do what Monica did of her own free will, only he made you do it in public and against your will, and all the mouthwash in the world will never take that taste away.

You have been pwned by the Clenis.


Jon Stewart, to Mitt Romney on "A (The) Daily Show," 2-7-08


Milo Johnson, to Mitt Romney on 12-6-07:

Quit copying me, Stewart!

from the heart(land)

Wichita, Kansas, the Peerless Princess of the Plains, the Air Capital, is going to be graced today with the presences of both John McCain and Mike Huckabee. The McCain appearance will take place at the Wichita Beechcraft plant and Huckabee will speak at the Colonel James Jabara airport, a small-plane airport located in the center of and used by several aircraft manufacturers on the east end of the city. There was an article in the local paper, the Wichita Eagle's online version ( about the visit, and from here in one of the reddest of states in the last two election cycles, these are ALL of the comments that were left on the article, as of the time of this posting:

* "Texas Rep. Ron Paul, who is trailing the field in delegates, scratched plans to appear at a Wichita campaign event Friday night. His campaign said he needed to stay in Washington for a congressional vote."
Wow, a congressman who actually does his duty that he is hired for....I've never seen one of those before.

* With McCain as the Republican candidate a Democrate is sure to win the White House.

* you knew for sure that ol John would NOT meet on Boeing property!!!!!!!!!!

* Oh... Huckabee is coming.. Thrill...

* good grief. Looks like a great day to be at home. The stank these two will bring might choke us all

* i wonder if McCains wife is coming to i hope so.

* So what can they offer ME?? Wairs my healthcare? Wairs my penshun gairwontee? Wairs the price conrols on gasline?

* great a religious fanatic hick from arkansas and a war monger from sunny arizona
what a choice for republicans...wooohoooooooo.

* McCain was booed at the CPAC convention. LOL

The stunning lack of literacy aside, this does not bode well for the right wing. For crying out loud, this is KANSAS. If the Democrats lose the coming presidential election, they have nobody to blame but themselves.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

goodbye, economic stimulus

It appears that Willard Romney has reached the end of the dusty trail to the Oval Office. Citing his fervid patriotism (and not the fifty million dollars sunk into this dry hole of a candidacy) as the reason, he slowly backed out of the race for the republican't nomination for the presidency. I guess his patriotism has limitations, as defined by the contents of his bank account and his stock portfolio.

Personally, I think it's evidence that the right wing, despite their assertions that they are not intolerant bigots, will still not stoop to vote for a Moron even though Moronism seems to be the main faith of the party.


Wednesday, February 06, 2008

measure your cattitude

46. It would be more, but I don't deal with humans that much...

Britney Dowd

Bob Somerby's excellent disemboweling of Maureen Dowd in today's "The Daily Howler" at provides liberals with a powerful weapon that can be used to marginalize, ridicule, and diminish the influence of the unbalanced Dowd.

I propose that the entire liberal blog universe begins to refer to Dowd as "Britney Dowd." It is the kind of meme that can travel fast and far and, if used regularly, will crush any shred of credibility or respectability that this noxious scribbler may have.


Tuesday, February 05, 2008

but Boo-Boo's okay

The Maharishi Mahesh Yogi passed away today of advanced years. Back in the Sixties, the Maharishi had a tremendous influence on rock musicians, particularly those who were really beginning to experiment with sound, composition, and psychedelics, including most notably the Beatles. I've long felt that the Maharishi and his long view of consciousness was an important component in the development of the prog rock music that has had such a lasting impact on my own sensibilities in life.

Sleep peacefully, Maharishi. And thanks.

Hare Krishna
Hare Krishna

Hare Hare
Krishna Krishna

Krishna Krishna
Hare Hare

Hare Krishna
Hare Krishna