Thursday, March 30, 2006


I just read the latest post from David Corn, in which he relates his experiences at the annual Radio & Television Correspondents Association dinner which took place last night. This event is most well-known of late for Bush's uproarious "where are the WMD's?" comedy routine from a couple of years ago.

Corn, who is clearly quite impressed by himself, related the killer "gotcha" questions about the lack of planning and foresight for the Iraq invastion that he contemplated asking Richard Perle and Donald Rumsfeld when he encountered them at the affair. Of course, he goes on to say that he, in the best "l'esprit d'escalier" display I've seen for a while, DIDN'T ASK THEM, clearly demonstrating that he has that same "go for the capillaries" instinct for reportage that he frequently castigates in others.

It seems that you can find a lot of shit in Corn.

maple leaf rag

I've been fighting a vicious and recurring sinus infection for a few weeks that has me feeling clammy, congested, weak, and just generally crappy. I really hate being prescribed useless antibiotics which is the normal state of low-level medical treatment these days, designed to make the patient feel that something has been done but not necessarily doing anything to correct the problem. I decided to try a dedicated over-the-counter sinus dryer-upper and purchased some "Vicks Dayquil Sinus" liquicaps, active ingredients acetominophen ("Tylenol") and pseudoephedrine HCL, a common mucus dryer-upper. They have given me a couple of decent nights' sleep, and with any luck my own immune system will be able to quell the crud soon. However, as I was looking over the packaging of the caplets, I noticed something interesting printed under the ingredient list:

"Made in Canada."

Yes, that's right, the country whose prescription medications are far too dangerous for Americans to be permitted to use so that they can save a few bucks is nonetheless allowed to export huge amounts of medications to be taken by citizens of the United States. I wonder if that has anything to do with the fact that outsourcing their manufacture provides U.S. pharmaceutical companies higher profit margins.

Fuck George Bush and his malevolent and incompetent administration.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

momma Britney

A hilarious level of controversy has accompanied the recent statue of Britney Spears giving birth on a bearskin rug. While I'm usually pretty imperturable, I admit that I am upset with this statue myself. It isn't the nudity, it isn't the doggie-style pose, it isn't the bearskin, it isn't even Britney herself to which I object.

It's the artist's choice of medium.

Seriously, this should have been expressed via the trailer-trash-tested-and-approved medium of acrylic paint on black velvet with a huge, gaudy faux-antiqued ornate gold frame.

a lucky man

On the heels of the passing of Buck Owens, a family spokesperson explained that Mr. Owen's last evening alive included going to his club for his favorite dinner of chicken-fried steak, after which, at the behest of some out-of-town fans, he took to the stage and played with his band for what would be his final performance. After the show, he went home and passed away in his sleep.

I can imagine no better way to go.

Monday, March 27, 2006


Afraid of being assassinated:

Nero, Emperor of Rome
Richard M. Nixon, President
George W. Bush, President

Not afraid of being assassinated:

Julius Gaius Caesar, Emperor of Rome
Jimmy Carter, President
William Jefferson Clinton, President

Draw your own conclusions.
"The guilty flee where no man pursueth."

(Yes, a bible quote from an atheist. Good psychology affirms no religion.)

more fun with movies

Another night watching old movies, "The War Lord" with Charlton Heston, and "History of the World" with Mel Brooks, led me to a revelation:

"Droit du Seigneur" is French for "it's good ta be da King!"

Sunday, March 26, 2006

subliminal inadequacies

Watching cheesy Kung Fu movies on the tube late at night while suffering from a bout with a nasty abdominal flu, I caught several plays of a commercial for a product called "Vazomyne," which is apparently one of those over-the-counter placebo "male enhancement" and "performance" products. I was suddenly paralyzed with laughter when I noticed that they called one of their "active ingredients" by the official-sounding name "L-Argenine."

"Large Nine?"



Monday, March 20, 2006

a literal renaissance

Happy Equinox.

Sunlight-drinkers, rejoice!

Sunday, March 19, 2006

memorial day

1096 days in Iraq.

Divided by:

2318 dead American military.
320 billion dollars already spent.


2.11 American dead every day.
2.05 billion dollars spent every week.

Feel safer yet? Future more optimistic? Standard of living improved?

Thanks, George.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

things the media misses

For some time, we have been informed by our much-vaunted "free press" in this country that felonious lobbyist Jack Abramoff's illegal activities came as such a surprise to so many people because he is well-known as an orthodox Jew, so orthodox that he won't even go anywhere with his head uncovered.

They manage to tell us this even as film clips of Abramoff are played, very few of which show him with his head covered.

urethra, I have found it!

I've been searching for a nickname for our chickenhawk-in-chief for several years now, long before I even knew what a blog was. I wanted something that was funny but that demonstrated the richness of the contempt that I have for this churlish, privileged, arrogant lout. I've never liked "shrub" or some of the others that have been floated around for some time, but I am pleased to announce that as of today, I finally have found the moniker by which I will address our feckless leader from this day forward. I understood what best sums up his craven and cowardly nature as a result of today's public re-affirmation of his sucker-punching "Doctrine of Pre-emption."

George W. Bushwhacker.

Yes, our proud "Texas rancher" is most accurately labeled with the term that is the most grievous possible insult to a Texan, that of a man who hides in ambush and shoots his enemy in the back.

George W. Bushwhacker.

I hope everybody who voted for this imbecile is proud.

(Thanks to Kelly Bundy for the title.)

cruel irony

On this date in 1926, Dr. Robert H. Goddard successfully flew the first liquid-fueled rocket in history.

Today, we are using the fruits of his work to successfully spread ill-will around the world.

I'm sorry, Dr. Goddard.

what a difference a day makes

So, when I went to sleep last night, I expected to wake up to our feckless leader making another speech "reaffirming" his "doctrine of pre-emption," a policy which would probably be better labeled the "doctrine of sucker-punching," something only chicken-shit bullies adhere to in the real world.

I wake up to find "Operation Shock and Awe, the Next Generation" in full swing.

Yeah, this should work. Let's call this one "Operation Let's Really Piss 'Em Off and Show Them How Little Their Lives and Country Really Mean To Us!"

Brace yourself. I feel some spittle-flinging tirades rising in my gorge.

all blogged up

Yes, I've suffered a nasty bout of blogstipation of late, and I recently realized what the problem was. I was too intent on making meaningful commentary that I forgot the basic reason I started doing this - to ruminate in print publicly. I'm afraid I have little to comment on politically right now, I'm too incensed by the state of affairs we are in as a nation to be able to phrase any coherent thoughts and would just rant spittle-flinging tirades at my wonderful little audience. So, be prepared for anything on these pages for a while, I'm here to have fun and hope you enjoy the ride!

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

talking point journalism

All of the highly-paid news readers have been reporting the same thing (with negligible variations) that condenses down to saying that a federal judge delivered a major setback to the government's case against Zacarias Moussaoui when a significant portion of their evidence was thrown out.

I'm not familiar enough with this sort of thing to be providing expert analysis, but from what I have read it seems to me that the prosecuting attorney who provided court transcripts to witnesses in violation of the law and of legal ethics is the one who provided the government with the major setback, not the judge. The judge was just making sure that the prosecution didn't profit by breaking the law.

Of course, I'm not a lawyer or a real journalist, so I'm not capable of grasping the nuances of trials like the professionals do.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

the song remains the same

Well-known republican fellatrix Norah O'Donnell is at it again.

During a report on "Countdown," she again stated the talking point that Libby prosecutor Fitzgerald claimed that Scooter was "the first person to have disclosed" Valerie Plame Wilson's identity as a CIA operative.

Norah must have received her journalamism degree by mail.

Here, Norah, I'll keep this slow and simple:

Pat Fitzgerald stated that Scooter was "the first person KNOWN to have disclosed" Plame's identity.

Not that one little word makes a difference or anything.

real genius

Happy Birthday, Dr. Einstein.

happens all the time

Our conundrum-in-chief got a lot of press today when he briefly met with Jason McElwain, a young, autistic basketball player who recently achieved some notoriety when, after his coach put him into a high school basketball game for the final four minutes, he scored twenty points and contributed greatly to a thirty-six point victory over his team's opponents.

I just don't see what all the fuss is about. It's a nice story, it really is, but it just isn't that uncommon. Successful athletes frequently spend time with intellectually challenged fans.

great moments in incongruity

The legendary Isaac Hayes has quit the television show "South Park" after ten years because of the show's derision of his preferred brand of illogic, Scientology, during the episode for which Tom Cruise is also sueing the show's creators. Seems Isaac, who voiced the character "Chef" on the show, feels that South Park crossed the line of propriety.

This from the man who sang the song with the lyric "suck on my chocolate salty balls" and was happy to exclaim, after his character watched an elephant screw a pig (with squeaking insertion noises for accompaniment) "now I know how all those white women felt."

Isaac. Get a grip on reality, already. You would be sleeping on your friends' couches if it weren't for South Park. All of the crude humor that you have promulgated (which, by the way, I love) over the last decade makes the Scientology episode pale in comparison.

Quit being such a pussy and stay for the rest of the ride as Chef.

Monday, March 13, 2006


36% - I hated Bush before it was cool.

Friday, March 10, 2006



Sunday, March 05, 2006

great moments in "duh"

"Violence Erupts at Punk Rock Concert in California."

CNN headline, 3-5-06

Wednesday, March 01, 2006


No, I'm not dead. Life is interfering with blogging. Besides, what more is there to say about the crap that's been going down lately?

See you soon.