Wednesday, November 30, 2005

to: John Kerry

I know you really mean well, but you aren't helping.

Shut the fuck up.

Monday, November 28, 2005

doing his best Jimmy Swaggart

Congressman and Viet Nam war hero "Duke" Cunningham today pled guilty to accepting money, goods, and services in return for political favors, and in a tear-filled press statement seemed sincerely remorseful. I think that what we have is here a man who had full understanding of how to be honest and respectable and who sincerely intended to adhere to those principles but who eventually succumbed to the siren song of temptation that surrounds our political elites.

During his statement to the press, Cunningham mentioned that while he was in the military, he discovered that the true measure of a man is "how he responds to adversity." While I am not without a certain amount of empathy for Cunningham, who seems to be a good man gone bad, I strongly disagree with that sentiment.

The true measure of a man is whether he maintains his honor and integrity despite temptation. Being honorable means choosing the right course of action no matter how painful, and no matter how rewarding choosing the wrong course of action may seem to be at the time.

Duke, you can't buy back your integrity by "responding to adversity" well when it is an adversity that you created yourself. Sadly, I suspect you will also figure that out soon and will ultimately find it impossible to live with your own shame.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

atheist's thanksgiving

I heard the sentiment once again stated today that atheists are unable to celebrate Thanksgiving because "well, who do you thank?"

I find it amazing that a reasonably well-educated and literate person like the one that said that is unable to understand that appreciation for one's good fortune does not need to be expressed TO any particular entity, it is a simple matter of realizing that you could be a lot worse off than you are and that there are indeed many people who are in much worse circumstances.

Is that such an overwhelmingly difficult concept?

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

na-na-na, la-la-la

The administration's best argument for some time has been that pulling our Oil Crusade armed forces out of Iraq would be "a mistake."

After all, there haven't been any mistakes made in this whole neocon video game up until this point, and we certainly don't want to spoil that perfect record.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005


More CNN live-blogging:

My previous post was written as a reference to the way that the CNN multi-screen video display that they use onstage has visible divisions between the blooks of screens, which formed a set of lines resembling crosshairs on the face of Donald Rumsfeld during his interview with Wolf Blitzer.

Now it comes to my attention that during yesterday's programming on CNN an image of a large black "X" briefly flashed over President of Vice Dick Cheney's vile snout during a video clip of his speech. The "X" has been explained away as a computer glitch.

Maybe they just decided to be a little more subtle with Rummy...

(Again, my apologies to all creatures with snouts. I mean you no insult.)

subliminal Wolf

CNN liveblogging:

The crosshairs on Donald Rumsfeld's head are a delicious bit of symbolism. And, now that there's apparently a firing solution on that loathsome reptile's cranium...

(My sincere apologies to all reptiles - it's used only as a figure of speech.)

on that day

Fourth grade.
Introverted misfit.
Mrs. Hasner's class. (I hated her.)
More interested in reading science and science fiction books than anything else in the world.
An outcast for being an eggheaded nerd.
Completely unaware of anything but the most basic events and personages of the time.

Another schoolday.
Almost lunchtime.
The speaker above the blackboard, by the Elgin clock scratches into life.

"President Kennedy has been shot and has been taken to the hospital."

Lunchtime was a blur of confusion. Many students in the Air Force base school were picked up by their parents.

Minutes after coming back from lunch, nervous and apprehensive, the speaker above the blackboard crackled again.

"President Kennedy has died. School is dismissed."

Horses and cannons and somber people talking about things I didn't comprehend.
John-John and Caroline and even the self-controlled Jackie, bewildered by sudden calamity.
Military men talking in anxious, hushed voices.
Mothers hiding their worried agitation.
It was as though time had stopped, the country in suspended animation.

It was gray and cold and dank until well into spring, even when it was sunny.

The strength of events to focus and freeze memory for all time around world-shaping events never ceases to amaze me.

Where were you?

Tuesday, November 15, 2005


I can't help but laugh at the argument being used by Bush supporters for the Iraq invasion. They are all incessantly making the observation that the intelligence on which our fearless misleader based his decision was the "same intelligence" seen by Clinton, the United States Congress, the entire american intelligence community, the entire american military community, the British intelligence community, and on and on and on ad nauseum.

Yes, it was. I'll admit it. It was the exact same intelligence that all of these other people had.

It was the exact same intelligence that they all had...


Monday, November 14, 2005

wanna bet?

Here's why Scooter Libby is so willing to go to jail to protect Bush, Cheney, and Rove.

It was Scooter that "Jeff Gannon" was "visiting" all night in the White House, and Bush, and/or Cheney, and/or Rove have unassailable evidence of his trysts with which they are blackmailing him.

It even explains his suddenly-injured foot. He was confronted with the material by the blackmailers and accidentally hurt himself in a tantrum of self-castigation.

"Bulldog" has left another "impression."

Sunday, November 13, 2005

random observations

Ken Mehlman also has incredibly tiny little-girl hands.

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Nostradoofus predicts

In an early-morning press conference, President George W. Bush will raise the terror code to red and announce an immediate amphibious assault on Somalian seaports. The president declared that "we must fight the pirates over there so we don't have to fight them on the Great Lakes and the mighty Mississippi. We all know Washington, D.C., Boston, and New York City are situated on waterways and we must protect our decent folks from these scurvy buccaneers." The president's sentiments will be echoed by Vice President Dick Cheney, who will remind us that the British government has discovered that the pirates have been trying to purchase uranium "yellowcake" ore from Niger, and that it is vital that we stop the pirates now before proof of their intentions comes in the form of a mushroom cloud. Halliburton, Inc., has been given an emergency no-bid contract for three trillion dollars to develop the best anti-pirate defenses modern technology can create, as the president explained, it is widely known that Halliburton is the only company with the necessary piracy experience. The Homeland Security Department will announce they are prepared to distribute special anti-privateer duct tape and plastic wrap to protect citizen's homes from being boarded, and urges everyone to watch the Johnny Depp documentary about pirate behavior and language in order to keep America safe.

Now, please forget about Scooter, okay?

you break?

There's still a lot of bleating from the Republizards that we are doing a good thing by conquering Iraq. They feel that the indigenous peoples are ungrateful wretches who think that we don't care about them.

Why would they think that?

Well, let's see.

Could it have something to do with the fact that the very leaders of this country can't even be bothered to learn the correct pronunciation of theirs?

Read the following slowly:

Ear. Rock.

Ear. Rock.

Ear. Rock

Now just say it real fast. With any luck, it won't sound like something you would hear at a billiards parlor.

Friday text-only cat-blogging

Goodbye, Beezer. You were one tough little girl. Thanks for the lesson.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

feels good, don't it?

To the Democrats: