Friday, September 28, 2007

Friday cat-blogging

Too many toes...

Wednesday, September 26, 2007


I've been watching with mystification the phenomenon of the Hillary Clinton belly laugh grow over the last couple of months. It came to a peak in Sunday's whirlwind tour of five different political talk shows on multiple networks, culminating with uproarious guffawing on the FOX Bullshit Channel. I have not been able to escape a sense of deja vu every time she bursts into another chucklefest, and I finally realized where I've heard this exact same unnatural sound before.

She's apparently subleasing the ghastly thing from Nora "Noron" O'Donnell.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

well, there it is

Bill "Falafelboy" O'Reilly has been under fire for some remarks he made during a broadcast of his radio program in which he expressed surprise that when he went to an upscale black-owned-and-operated restaurant for dinner with Al Sharpton that the at least predominantly black patrons were well-behaved instead of acting like playahs in a rap video and shouting things like "motherfucker, I want more iced tea!"

O'Reilly explained that his comments were not racially motivated and that none of his listeners have complained.

Imagine that.

Not a one of the closet neonazi crackers that comprise O'Reilly's dwindling audience called in to complain about Bill's backhanded contempt and thinly disguised low expectations of his fellow diners during his noble expedition to sup among The Dark People in Their Native State. I guess that certainly puts a rest to the "racist bigot" myth about Mr. Olbermann's biggest fan.

Damned liberal media.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

the grey lady's mulligan

In an amazing admission of incompetence, the New York Times has announced that they should not have given's "Betray Us" ad the discounted rate that it had received as a stand-by ad, and that they shouldn't have run the ad in the first place because it violated their standards for print because, by their guidelines, they considered it a personal attack on General Be... er, Petraeus. Needless to say, we are supposed to understand that this sudden reversal has absolutely nothing with the relentless pressure from the right-wing nutcase echo chamber or the asinine congressional resolution condemning protected political speech that a couple of dozen worthless, despicable, so-called Democrats assisted to pass with their shameful votes.

In response, has already paid the difference between the standard rate and the stand-by discount rate to the New York Times for an ad that ran over a week ago. Personally, I fail to understand why. It's not like the ad just appeared in the paper without being given approval by many different people in different functions and departments.

In short, the New York Times, America's newspaper of record, evidently does not have an advertising department that is capable of correctly billing for an ad that costs a substantial amount of money, does not have anybody examining the ads that are submitted to see if they are in accord with their in-house standards for publication, and simply takes whatever amount they are paid and publishes whatever copy they are given without any review or oversight. And, they have no qualms about coming forth and essentially announcing that they have so little business acumen that something of this magnitude just slips through the cracks. Plus, they don't have the integrity to shut up about it and stand by an already completed business agreement like anybody with a shred of honor would do, they feel they can unilaterally renegotiate the transaction and somehow not look like total scumbags. Worst of all, they don't have the respect for the Constitution and the freedom of the press to just tell those who have been whining about the ad that if they disagree, they are welcome to run a counter-ad if they choose. I have yet to hear of them denouncing Rudy Giuliani's ad in response to the ad, and it certainly fell into the same category as's ad and should be subject to the same standards. All future advertisers should take heed of this entire travesty and realize that a contract with the New York Times isn't worth the newsprint the cowardly rag is printed on.

Good news, stockholders! Your investment is being shepherded by these fine, upstanding folks. That should put your minds at ease!

: - (

March 22, 1923 – September 22, 2007

Saturday, September 22, 2007


I'm used to getting emails from Nigerian royalty in need of an American friend with a bank account and for redundant penis enlargement, but this one takes the cake. I reprint the contents exactly:



An speak mere?


Be or incendiary partitive

Research prove it, you can have a large diamond razor

sleep february finally

I hope this isn't some weird coded shit that I'm going to get busted for and shuttled away to Guantanamo Bay for a bit of a vacation. It's either that or I'm getting a large diamond razor...

Friday, September 21, 2007

guest blogger: Marcel Marceau

Thursday, September 20, 2007

this is wrong

Hillary Clinton was today quoted as saying: "You can always tell when the Republicans are getting restless, because the Vice President’s motorcade pulls into the Capitol, and Darth Vader emerges."

I would like to come out against this statement. I publicly apologize for this misguided attack. The declaration is reprehensible and insulting. Permit me to explain.

This comparison of Vice President Richard B. Cheney to Darth Vader has been quite common over the last several years, and it is entirely unfair. The problem is that it is completely inaccurate. You see, Darth Vader was born as Anakin Skywalker, a brilliant and caring child of unfortunate circumstances who became street-wise as a result of the difficult life he led. He was seduced by the dark side of the Force after he had grown to adulthood and rapidly became the scourge of the universe and the right hand of the evil emperor.

Cheney's ALWAYS been a dick.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

just follow instructions

Say the following letters, with emphasis and feeling:




You have now participated in "Talk Like A Pirate Day." Thank you for your cooperation...


Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Experienced, and how...

RIP: Jimi, November 27, 1942 – September 18, 1970

Monday, September 17, 2007

juicy story

Been there, done that.

Wake me when the Bronco chase starts.

Friday, September 14, 2007

I are a graduate

The vapid blonde newsreader du jour on FOX "News" just informed the world that a Japanese Lunar probe launched today will "land and learn more about the terrain and history of the Moon, and search for any sign of gravity."

It will search for gravity? After it lands on the Moon?

Idiocracy, indeed.

Thursday, September 13, 2007


Word is that our presidunce is going to announce his grand plan for a mutual defense pact with the government of Iraq during his momentous speech this evening. That means, of course, that there will be a continuing American military occupation of Iraq for the foreseeable future. It looks like Operation Enduring Freedom has become Operation Enduring Strategic Pact.

Wow. Who could have seen that one coming?

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

it's about time

In honor of the sixth anniversary of September 11, 2001 and the attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, and the subsequent national nightmare in which we squandered the empathy of the entire planet in favor of alienating every other country and half of our own citizens in order to further enrich already wealthy old white men, it appears that NBC is at last apparently running a documentary about the poster boy for lowered expectations, our president, George Walker Bush.

Look for it tonight on NBC, 8 PM Eastern time, 7 PM Central. It's listed in TV Guide as "The Biggest Loser."

Six years on

I wonder if they knew how badly they'd hurt us.

On top of all of the primary and long term physical, emotional and economic damage, they even duped us into hemorrhaging what's left of our pride, our security, and our brave children, in an unjust, unrelated military action in the fertile crescent.

I don't know that they factored in our national pride and insanity, but I would wager that they speculated and hoped that we'd be as incredibly proud and irrational as we were.

Six years later, in spit of the promises, the mastermind of it all is still on the loose, we’re still on the line with 911, and we're bleeding out.

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Hardball Junior High School

Blogger is a piece of shit.

Just so you know.

Saturday, September 08, 2007

a solemn occasion

Happy birthday, Star Trek. Live long and prosper.

Friday, September 07, 2007

hugs for Ronni

I really can't think of anything else to say.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

a rock-solid candidate

Just to demonstrate that we liberal atheists do have some social graces, I'd like to offer my congratulations to the newly declared movie-star-turned-presidential candidate and his lovely young trophy wife. He sure does have that Reagan character down, doesn't he?


A different Fred? Really?

...never mind.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

be even more afraid

And yes, in case you haven't been paying attention for the last six years, they really are that fucking stupid.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

wee paws for a short message...