Friday, January 29, 2010


Kansas finally gets one right. Reports say it took thirty-seven minutes of deliberation. I bet they took a half-hour of that time to eat a nice relaxed breakfast.

No death penalty, please, that would let him off way too easily and turn him into a martyr for the panty-sniffers. Let him live in a ten-foot cell for the rest of his life.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

permit me to help

I've been watching the reporting on President Obama's first State of the Union address last night, and without exception, the right has been up in arms at how "churlish," "presumptuous," "arrogant," and "rude" he was for chiding the Supreme Court for their sell-out decision on campaign financing and for publicly calling out the republicans as the obstructionist dicks they have been for the last year.

Guys, I think the word you are looking for is "uppity."

that's a victory

The judge presiding over the Scott Roeder trial, the man who assassinated Dr. George Tiller in the lobby of his church, has just ruled that the jury may only consider first degree murder charges and that Roeder may not use any kind of "justifiable homicide" defense based upon Tiller's providing abortion services as part of his women's healthcare clinic.

Buh-bye, Scott.

good luck with that, guys

So it looks like the four right-wing clowns that infiltrated Senator Mary Landrieu's office are claiming that they weren't trying to wiretap her phone, they were just trying to disable it.

It should be fun watching their lawyers try to convince a federal court that sabotageing a federal telephone system is a lesser offense than wiretapping one.

I hope they get ACORNholed in jail.

I think the "MS" stands for "middle school"

MSNBC's daytime bimbo team, after giggling and tittering like twelve year-olds about the name of the new Apple device, the iPad, asked the really important question:

"Didn't the people at Apple do any market research before they decided to use this name?"

Actually, I imagine that they didn't think the American media was shallow and immature enough to turn it into a running sanitary napkin joke. Point taken, bimbos.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010


You republicans keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.


These two really deserve better. I was absolutely faithful to my wife and in the other two committed relationships I have had across the years, but I understand the power of these urges and don't judge other people who make decisions that they know are bad but still find themselves incapable of fending off.

They were at a difficult place in their relationship and he found some brief escape that cost him horribly in many ways, and if the panty-sniffing media in this country had let them have the same grace they gave scoundrels like David Vitter and Larry Craig these two people who belong together would likely have come to grips with the situation and would now be spending what time they have left together.

Truly heartbreaking. I wish them well, I hope she recovers from her illness and I hope he grows as a person and fulfills the tremendous potential he has for improving our country.

just shut the fuck up

I am getting so tired of right-wing blowhards like Mike Pence and Mitch McConnell constantly pontificating about what "the American people" want, things like "the American people just don't want a government takeover of healthcare" and "the American people are worried about deficits."

You know what, assholes?

If you had any fucking clue about what "the American people" actually wanted, you'd still control the fucking government instead of being a bunch of whiny-ass-titty-babies holding the country captive by being logic-free obstructionists.

Now go fuck yourselves.

With a pineapple.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

free political advice

Mr. President, if you want to salvage your reputation, your legacy, and get the American public behind your agenda in a way that nobody has done in many decades and would completely invalidate the gasbags on the right, it's really quite simple.

Capture or kill this motherfucker. Now.

Friday, January 22, 2010

free music advice

Dear Nickleback,

If you are going to write a song with the lyric "hold you 'til the hurt is gone," you might want to think about enunciating the "t" at the end of "hurt."

Or, add some cows mooing in the background.


Fuck. Just... ...fuck.

On January 21, 2010, George W. Bush's biggest legacy to our once-noble country, the Roberts Supreme Court, voted 5-4 to officially turn the United States of America into a fascist nation.

Remember where you were.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

I gotta stop watching this shit

Howard Dean took the hotseat on Hardball just now and Chris Matthews battered him repeatedly with the republican talking point that the Massachusetts senatorial special election was a referendum on the democratic party's efforts at health care reform, such as they are.

Several times, Matthews struck home with the point that this election represented a national dislike for the notion of government-sponsored public health care and that Massachusetts voters specifically rejected it, so you could therefore extrapolate that the entire country was against it.

Not one time did Howard Dean make the simple statement that Massachusetts already has a successful and much-liked statewide healthcare system that is superior to anything the democrats have offered and they probably don't care in the least about whether the rest of the nation has one or not, they have their own lives to worry about. All elections are local, remember?

The democrats are bringing pillows to a gunfight and they seem to be cool with losing. Change we can count on, indeed.

we are so screwed

David Axelrod just spent an incredibly painful dozen minutes on Hardball, whimpering with a quivering, frightened tone about how hard the democrats have been working and how mean the other guys are being. In the words of the street, he sounded like a little bitch. The historic majority that was given has been wasted.

Meanwhile, the right is crowing about this like they actually accomplished something, when what they got was another nutty teabagger who cares only about his own power and position in the corporatocracy... oh, wait, they did get another republican in good standing, didn't they?

We really may as well just let McCain take over. If things are going all to hell, I'd rather get there quickly while I'm strong and healthy. I think I could make out fairly well in Mad Max-land.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

just disgusted

Thanks, Democrats.

I can probably look forward to ten fewer years of life now. Of course, you guys will still have the best health care anywhere on the planet, so it's not that urgent for you.

See if I waste any more fucking time on you people. And I doubt I'm the only one. Somewhere, Ted Kennedy is fuming.

Monday, January 18, 2010

scared and disgusted

Tomorrow's special election in Massachusetts, held to fill the late Ted Kennedy's seat in the Senate, may see the Democratic candidate lose a seat held by Democrats for over forty years. It really seems that nobody has paid any attention to this race and simply thought it was a shoo-in because of the well-known liberal bent of Massachusetts residents.

If you have not prepared to win, then you have prepared to lose. The right knows this. Why doesn't the left?

Thursday, January 14, 2010

how's that again?

Well, it's late and I'm sitting here watching the Fifties classic "Attack of the Colossal Man" on AMC. The protagonist has discovered the location of the mutant giant, and he and his cohorts attempt to sedate the enormous, loin-clothed beast.

With a six-foot-long hypodermic needle.

And their normal-sized hands.

I suppose that was easier to carry than a thirty-foot-long rifle.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

They'll Know We Are Christians....

This is a verse from a hymn I learned as a youngster.
We will work with each other, we will work side by side
We will work with each other, we will work side by side
And we'll guard each one's dignity and save each one's pride
And they'll know we are Christians by our love, by our love
They will know we are Christians by our love.
Times have changed, I guess:

4:00 PM ET: Pat Robertson says Haiti 'cursed' -- Speaking on the Christian Broadcasting Network's "The 700 Club" today, the conservative televangelist offered the following outrageously insensitive thoughts on the tragedy, our Media editor Danny Shea reports:
Something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it. They were under the heal of the French. You know, Napoleon the third, or whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, we will serve you if you will get us free from the French. True story. And so, the devil said, okay it's a deal.

once more into the breach

Discussing the Haitian earthquake disaster, MSNBC's Tamryn Hall just said "we're keeping a close watch on the situation, we've been watching Twitter, YouTube, and Facebook all morning!"

Remember, don't try this at home. These are trained, professional journalists who know how to safely Twit.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

it's not that rare, actually

So, this Mark McGwire fellow has announced that he used steroids during his record-breaking years in baseball. He says he didn't use them to enhance his athletic performance, he used them for medical reasons.


Balls too big, perhaps?

twelve again

"I'm just suddenly thinking about that video of the fake Berlusconi and the meter maid!"

Yeah, Keith, that's part of the problem.

seems like yesterday

It's been three years since a certain freeloader moved in and became my master.

Happy Anniversary, butthead...

Monday, January 11, 2010

and while I'm here

I'd like to thank the modern Republican party for bravely taking the point in the War on Racism. If there's anybody that understands what being an oppressed and maligned minority is like, it's a bunch of rich old white dudes with a stranglehold on the government and virtual ownership of the financial industries.

yeah, that'll help things

MSNBC, in their infinite wisdom, has given a television show to one of the biggest panty-sniffers in high sch- er, Washington, Chuck Todd. In his honor, I will hereinafter refer to him by the nickname I use for him.

So, congratulations, Fuck Wodd, for the further coarsening of our political system you are certain to exacerbate. I'm sure I'll get lots of new blog posts from you.


Mr. Wodd was just on MSNBC discussing the Harry Reid non-story, and said that once racism comes into the picture that "these stories never go away." That, of course, is because Fuck Wodd and the rest of his Peeping Tom associates keep pushing them even though there's no "there" there. This came right after a fifteen-minute segment between Essa Brewer and some Politico asshole that was the most brutal, high-school mean girl slandering of John and Elizabeth Edwards I have ever seen, and which ranked easily with the worst of the Clinton defamations. All of their talk was based on unsupported and anonymous sourcing, and they were treating it as though it was objective reality rather than cowardly allegation. The right must be more afraid of the Edwardses and Reid than they would seem to merit.

-even more update:

It just gets better. The new show featuring Fuck Wodd and Savannah Guthrie is called "The Daily Rundown."

Tomorrow they'll be running down Harry Reid and John and Elizabeth Edwards. Set your Tivos now.

Friday, January 08, 2010

roasted nuts

Today marks two weeks that our embarrassment of a free press have been hyperventilating over the failed attempt of a confused and uncommitted child to bring down an American airliner but only succeeding in fricasseeing his junk, and still nobody seems to grasp that when you get right down to it, nothing happened. Well, except for the kid's nutsack going up in smoke.

If this is the best that Al Qaeda can do, shouldn't we consider renaming the people behind it "errorists" and quit letting them control our emotions?

Thursday, January 07, 2010

"nobody could have predicted..."

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

the Beast

Here's a video from an online acquaintance of mine, showing off his newly restored Novachord. You will now realize just how many times you have heard the sound of this amazing instrument. Remember, these were designed in 1937! I have to get off my ass and get mine restored...

Monday, January 04, 2010

Keith Olberlimbaugh

"And I'm not going to make a bomb-in-the-underwear joke about Tiger Woods..."

No, you passive-aggressive asshole. You just did it. Fucking go away, you are no better than those you self-importantly mock. What happened to the bright, self-effacing guy that started this show several years ago?

Sunday, January 03, 2010

civilization continues to crumble

So I'm here watching this stupid Mayan 2012 doomsday prophecy show on The History Channel (who should be considering mass seppuku for this a-scientific travesty) when less then forty-five minutes into the two-hour show, the dumbass poser who just a half-hour before had introduced himself as a "professional adventurer" says to his new employer, as they are sitting aboard the 30-foot fishing vessel in which they are going to cross four hundred miles of southern Pacific Ocean, "I probably should have brought this up before, but I'm not, uh, a real 'seafaring salt'" to which his boss says "you don't do well on the open ocean?" which elicits the response "I tend to avoid even things that are wet" accompanied by some decidedly unprofessional adventurer-type nervous laughter.

Nice try, Indiana Nocojones.

As long as fuckwads like this get presented as people involved in doing credible science instead of the masquerading charlatans they are, this country will continue to deteriorate at a faster and faster pace.

Friday, January 01, 2010

Bring it on...

As you say, Milo, bring on the next decade. The last one pretty much sucked, let's hope it's an improvement going forward.

Happy New Year and Peace to Milo and Ronni and those of you who stop in to visit now and then.

May we all see better years this decade than we did the last.