call Maury!

The McCain campaign has been accusing the non-brain-damaged half of the country of accusing Sarah Palin of being the grandmother of the fifth, Down's Syndrome afflicted child and of demanding that she take "maternity tests."

First, what the fuck is a "maternity test?" Seems to me if you squeeze a tiny human out of your reproductive organs in a hospital with doctors and nurses in attendance that a DNA test might be a bit superfluous, but that's just me.

Actually, I think what is needed is a paternity test for boyfriend Levi, the self-styled "ass-kickin' fuckin' redneck" who is accused of being the father.

Let's face it, the nubile young daughters of hard-core conservatives are the biggest and easiest chum-buckets in the country, and there's a significant chance that the boy who's taking the fall isn't the one that donated the sperm...