all your candidate are belong to us

Over the last few days, the right-wing gasbags have started pushing the notion that John McGoo "came from behind" after being "on the ropes" to win the republican presidential nomination. He's being portrayed as if he were Rocky Balboa coming back out after taking an 8-count and knocking his opponents out of the ring.

Nice damned try, guys, seriously.


I've been paying pretty close attention to this politics stuff for a while now, and it seems to me that it didn't quite unfold that way. First, Rudy Giuliani imploded because the only thing he had to offer was beating the "I was a 9/11 hero" drum, and that wasn't sufficient to overcome all of his criminal connections and the corruption of the New York City government under his stewardship.

Fred Thompson shucky-darned himself into obscurity by not knowing anything about the world around him and by having the charisma of a throw-rug, and not even his young wife's new boobs could save him from looking like a befuddled senior citizen with a permanent Viagra flush.

Mitt Romney spent a monumental amount of money to demonstrate that he was an expensive, custom-tailored empty suit worn over magic underwear, and even his cut-rate Reagan impression wasn't enough to overcome his alien mormon-ness with the rank-and-file fascists who run the republican party.

Huckabee was a problem. A lot of conservatives liked his stated positions to the extent that he was the front-runner for a while, but he was so peculiar on a personal level that the base ultimately just couldn't accept his eccentricities and found him too unpredictable and insufficiently loyal to the republican cognoscenti. He turned into the right's version of Dennis Kucinich.


Face it, guys, if McLame had announced that he wanted to put a beauty pageant runner-up in the vice-presidency a few months ago, Ron Paul would be the belle of the ball in Minnesota tonight.


John McCain - nominee by default.