Monday, August 04, 2008

apostrophe catastrophe

Over the last couple of year's American's have been increasingly misusing apostrophe's and its really starting to get on my nerve's. Im amazed that a simple punctuation mark could prove to be so difficult to use correctly, but its obviously a problem for many American's. And its not a problem that is limited to folk's with lesser amount's of education, its a problem that appear's regularly in large newspaper's and magazine's, as well as television show's on major network's. Even presumably well-educated writer's manifest this lack of understanding of how to use apostrophe's, so Im going to explain it in order to help eradicate these literacy issue's once and for all.

If you are writing about multiple thing's, you should never use apostrophe's to indicate plural's. Any student's that went to American school's learned from their English teacher's that apostrophe's are not used to indicate plural's or multiple's of thing's, they are used to indicate possessive's or contraction's. If you use apostrophe's to indicate multiple's of thing's, it makes your writing really difficult to read. Apostrophe's are also used to indicate missing letter's in contraction's, as in "isnt" or "cant" or "wouldnt."

Remember a few week's ago when Barack Obamas comment that American's should learn second language's was fussed over by John McCains campaign staffer's? Id be thrilled just to see American's learn their own language! So please, stop abusing apostrophe's. Its not that difficult to use them correctly, and Im sure that if youd like to be seen as serious writer's and thinker's that you dont want English speaker's around the world to conclude that all American's are illiterate bumpkin's. Thats fairly easy to understand, isnt it?

Remember the sagacious advice of one of Americas most famous philosopher's: "Get a brain moran's."


Blogger Mary K. Goddard said...

do you have ANY idea how painful your post was to read????!!!


6:58 PM  
Blogger Milo Johnson said...

Good thing I didn't go into homonym abuse...

7:18 PM  
Blogger Mary K. Goddard said...


8:56 PM  
Blogger Ronni said...

I could cite you an argument, but the site of homonym abuse is a horrible sight.

But most are to blind too see it.

5:16 AM  
Blogger Nancy said...

OK, I started hyperventilating as soon as I read the first sentence. How is it possible that Americans have become such idiots? And don't get me Started on Random capitalization...

9:23 AM  
Blogger Milo Johnson said...

It's because they've tried very hard to minimize the importance of education.

9:33 AM  
Blogger Mary K. Goddard said...

that's it...I'm going back to bed!

11:32 AM  
Blogger Christopher said...

This is even more disturbing than the disappearance of the subjunctive mood (I can't tell you how much I grate my teeth whenever I hear someone say, "if something was to happen..."). Seriously, reading this made me realize just how painful it is for those of us who know our grammar to read anything written by those who don't.

8:05 AM  
Blogger Milo Johnson said...

Imagine how difficult it was to write. I had to "anti-proofread" it dozens of times to make sure I hadn't accidentally done anything correctly!

12:41 PM  
Blogger Milo Johnson said...


3:26 PM  

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