Saturday, January 06, 2007

Currier and Ives, Baghdad edition

The first paragraph of David Sanger's New York Times article today:

"President Bush’s new Iraq strategy calls for a rapid influx of forces that could add as many as 20,000 American combat troops to Baghdad, supplemented with a jobs program costing as much as $1 billion intended to employ Iraqis in projects including painting schools and cleaning streets, according to American officials who are piecing together the last parts of the initiative."

That silly Baker Group, they thought this Iraq thing was so complex. I mean, come on, over a hundred pages? Our leader has pared it right down to the essentials, and is finally showing us the true genius he has been apparently holding in abeyance these last several years.

Painting the schools and cleaning the streets. What a delightfully non-threatening and bucolic image. It's going to be so simple to finally fix this Iraq situation now that the renaissance man in the White House has finally "listened" to advice. The plan is simple. After our neighborly "surge" of killing people, all we have to do is to put all of the Iraqis left, the ones who will, of course, love us and greet us as liberators - all we have to do is to put them to work paintin' the schools and cleanin' the streets, and we will finally have the victory - er, sorry - the "Victry" that his highness has been assuring us is just around the corner.

The Stormin' Norman Rockwellization of Iraq is finally nigh. Although, I think that the Decider has missed a couple of other important jobs that will help accomplish The Mission.

We need to also hire Iraqis to fluff the throw pillows on every couch in Iraq, to repair all of the screen doors, and to check the tires on all of their cars and make sure they are inflated to the proper pressure. And then give each of them a pony.

It's the only way we can be sure.


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