Saturday, September 24, 2005

fo' shizzle, Iacozizzle

It's Chrysler's fault.

I'm being watched, so I can't talk long, but it's all Chrysler's fault.

The gas prices, I mean.

You see, back in the Sixties and early Seventies, Chrysler dabbled in the mechanical occult, and they were seduced by the dark side in the form of the famous Hemi 426 engines. Everybody wanted a Hemi, people were even starting to stuff these monstrosities into passenger cars. Within a few years, the wizardly powers of the Hemis took over NASCAR, and to banish them back to Hell, the Arabs formed OPEC and soon we had a full-blown gasoline crisis on our hands for the very first time. Gasoline prices went through the roof and we even experienced gasoline rationing in peacetime in the United States, the country that was built on wheels.

Chrysler relented, and stepped back into the light, stopping production on Hemis.

A few years ago, haunted by the spirits of torque and horsepower, Chrysler started producing Hemis again, and now you can buy several different models of Chrysler cars and trucks with Hemi engines, with a brand-new array of displacements and power options. The Hemi is back with all of the occult forces it possesses intact and ready to cause new mischief.

Now we have $3.00 gasoline and will see it go higher, and possibly even start seeing shortages and rationing again.

Don't fool around with forces you don't understand. See what happens?

It's Chrysler's fault.


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