Friday, November 09, 2007

semantic antics

Charles Schumer on confirming Mukasey as U.S. Attorney General: ”When Judge Mukasey came before the Senate judiciary committee last month he refused to state waterboarding as torture. That was unsatisfactory, that was wrong. That will be a blemish on judge Mukasey’s distinguished career for as long as he lives."



Hmmmm.



Let's see if it sounds any more rational this way:

”When Judge Mukasey came before the Senate judiciary committee last month he refused to state being burned with red-hot iron pokers as torture. That was unsatisfactory, that was wrong. That will be a blemish on judge Mukasey’s distinguished career for as long as he lives."




This is interesting, isn't it? Let's try another one:

”When Judge Mukasey came before the Senate judiciary committee last month he refused to state being hanged by the thumbs as torture. That was unsatisfactory, that was wrong. That will be a blemish on judge Mukasey’s distinguished career for as long as he lives."




Or maybe this:

”When Judge Mukasey came before the Senate judiciary committee last month he refused to state pulling out fingernails as torture. That was unsatisfactory, that was wrong. That will be a blemish on judge Mukasey’s distinguished career for as long as he lives."



Perhaps this will work:

”When Judge Mukasey came before the Senate judiciary committee last month he refused to state Mace sprayed directly in the eyes as torture. That was unsatisfactory, that was wrong. That will be a blemish on judge Mukasey’s distinguished career for as long as he lives."



This isn't going well, is it? Wait, I've got it:

”When Judge Mukasey came before the Senate judiciary committee last month he refused to state a cattle prod up the ass as torture. That was unsatisfactory, that was wrong. That will be a blemish on judge Mukasey’s distinguished career for as long as he lives."





Jeepers, no matter what I replace "waterboarding" with I can't get Chuckles to not sound like he's an unprincipled fuckwad!


That will be a blemish on Charles Schumer's distinguished career for as long as he lives.

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