Jones Alley
a passing
RIP my father, 4-11-25 until 2-17-07.
He meant well.
He meant well.
posted by Milo Johnson at 5:47 AM
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Jonesing for the Truth
since November 2000
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8 Comments:
The color will have to do until I find the words...
There aren't any words, it just IS. I'm fine, and dad isn't in pain any more. Now, I must continue to find my own path forward.
Milo, I'm so sorry! There's never a good time to lose a parent, especially if the road was rocky.
He was horribly depressed and in pain for the last couple of years, and I take some comfort in the fact that his suffering is over. It's sad that this was the only way it could end, but I no longer have to endure watching him suffer and wait. In a most curious way, I feel like an adult for the first time in my life. Time to look ahead and live the best life I can live in order to honor my father for giving it to me.
(I should not try to post after 3 glasses of trini rum punch)
So right. It's still a time to recognize and its not without pain and misty moments, regardless of the inevitability and timeliness.
It's a natural progression and it happens to almost all of us, one way or another, sooner or later. You take comfort in what aspects are comforting, but there's still a child inside who misses a parent. It softens with time. Celebrate the great memories and find consolation in the end to his struggle.
Sometimes it takes a while to get beyond the bad memories of the end, and back to memories of happier times.
I know you are too smart to try to rush the process.
We're here for you in case you want to tell stories.
As it happens, after a couple of days of wondering when, I finally had my little private breakdown moment earlier this evening and I'm at peace with it all now. It's time to live.
It will likely happen again. It's quite normal to have those moments, infrequent as they may be, for a long time. My dad's been gone three years now and I confess I've had a couple of those within the last year. Of course I've also had a few laughing moments and a few rolling eyes and shaking my head, too.
Having any one of those moments now and then means you are living.
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